Sixty seconds gone…
April 21, 2009…coming up with this subject.
As I wait for my first cup of coffee to reach my brain, I’m sipping my second and watching the April 13th episode of House on Hulu. I’m also brain storming with pen to paper about what half dozen tasks I should do today from my list of several dozen.
It’s only a little after 8 in the morning and I’ve had more thoughts and motivated actions then I normally have this time of day. Lately I’ve been going back to sleep at 8 a.m. because I have only slept a couple of hours or I haven’t slept at all. Since I went to bed at 2 a.m. last night and got up around 6, I should be more tired. I expected to be. And yet, here I am, awake and more mentally productive then I have been in weeks.
Even now I’m cleaning off the clutter on my desk. The clutter seems to accumulate around the edge like frost used to accumulate in my college days freezer. Sometimes it seems like my home is a giant complicated version of one of those picture puzzles with squares that you shift around using only one open spot. Except that in my house there layers upon layers of those little squares and I have no clue as to what the final picture is supposed to look like. I just shift and shift, avoid for a while to ease some frustration, then shift and shift again.
According to parts of my Feng shui book that I actually read, the clutter in my house represents issues in my life. Or maybe the clutter caused the issues. Going to go check which it actually is, either in the books or online would be another way of avoiding taking care of what I need to, today and tomorrow and the next day.
Over the last ten minutes I found four forks and a spoon on my desk and I got chills over the last ten seconds of this House episode. The latter was nice. I’m looking forward to next week’s episode.
The former makes me realize that the clutter on my kitchen table illustrates that I’m stuck on my “organize the pantry” project. I also have clutter on the dinning room table because I’m a big fan of putting the clothes in the washer and dryer but not a big fan of folding and putting away. Every day my kids are a day older and I’ve lost an opportunity to spend half an hour having sit down dinners with them. I spend too much time here in this filthy, disordered nook of my office. I’ve metaphorically crawled under a rock. I hide here, sustained by the consuming of time and the avoidance of danger.
Now that coffee number two is in me and coffee number one wants to leave, I think I’ll leave this refuge and assault random targets on my agenda. If I waste another moment on prioritizing my agenda I risk something shiny, safe and meaningless catching my attention.
