Toe dip into post Landmark Forum

This time last year, I had never heard of Landmark Education. I knew nothing about the Landmark Forum or the Advanced Courses. The name Werner Erhard would not have rung a bell. Two weeks ago I completed the Landmark Forum.

The way I should write is to think the thoughts and then write the words. More often for me, the process of writing works like a conversation to flesh out how I feel and think. Pending clarity on a level unprecedented, here I go with my usual prefacing and winging it.

The Landmark Forum is ridiculously brilliant. I’m glad I went. I’ll be forever changed. However, the concepts are not unique or original. The people of Landmark Education are not as transparent as they claim to be by stating all they say is true. It’s true, they do not seem to lie, but they are masters at what they do.

As an average, relatively unsophisticated woman; I don’t have the vocabulary, experience, training or background to articulate an educated view about my experience. Yet I do have feelings and opinions that my nearest and dearest have asked me to share. Bear with me as I wrestle through it.

Whenever I have an opportunity to do so, I will research new things before I have to experience them. I spent hours researching online and talking to my two acquaintances that had experienced various offerings from Landmark Education. My views immediately preceding the first hand experience were captured in my post titled, “Night Before Landmark Education Forum.”

What I couldn’t find during my research was someone detailing their feelings before, soon after and long after the Landmark Forum. As excited and motivated as I am to take this on, it’s rather daunting. My normal writing pace is usually much faster then this. It’s nearing 3:30 in the morning and I’m stuck in preface-land. I knew this was going to be a multi-day post. I did not think I’d stall out with the appetizer.

Since it’s my daughter’s birthday and I’m planning to make breakfast in bed for her in about six hours, I’ll move along with addressing the questions from my pre-forum post. Remember, you can always do your own research and see what the Landmark people say or the anti-Landmark people say. Here for your pleasure are my views and thoughts as I see and feel them right now.

• What is Landmark Education? A for profit organization that deals in transforming life one concentrated weekend at a time. Universal truths, methods of thought and philosophies that predate just about everyone alive right now, packaged in a way that the “modern” man will likely “get.”
• I’m pulling directly from the earlier post below.

Why are you going to this ‘Forum’? I’m unsatisfied with the way I’m living my life. Tired of “not living up to my full potential.” I’ve tried for years to improve. I’m weary of inching forward, hitting setbacks and stretches of apathy. My hope is that I’ll learn something about the self-defeating ways I’ve been thinking and doing. I want to recognize the lies and the myths that I’ve been taught. I want to learn what a healthy assertive person is like and try to become one. I want to do this for me. I want to do this for my daughters, both to inspire them and as a preventative to becoming a cautionary tale. Everyday of semi-living is a gift thrown away.

o New question: What do I think now about my pre-forum thoughts quoted above? During the Landmark Forum I was reminded of writing this many times. In particular (check the syllabus provided by LandmarkEducation.com) day three, Change vs. Transformation. I went in just like most everyone else, hoping for change-looking for the tools to “help myself.”

o In reference to wanting to learn something about the self-defeating ways, the myths and lies and assertive behavior: Did I? Oh yes. A huge and early breakthrough I had was largely about how I had no idea what being authentic was. I will definitely dedicate direct attention to this topic at some other time. For now, three original thoughts. Lying hardly at all is no different then lying all the time. There is not small and large lie, only lie. I am my word. These thoughts alone would have made the weekend worth it.

• Do you think three days and a night at some seminar will cure you or make you a better person? I was spot on with what I already wrote.

• Aren’t you worried you’ll become someone you’re not? I had a really good idea of the end result without really knowing what to expect specifically.

• Are you still scared? There were moments before the Landmark Forum when I thought I might be working myself up. There were moments during the Landmark Forum when I realized if I had known what I was really in for, I would have been a lot more scared. If that sounds spooky, I apologize and I’ll expand on the thought. Speaking for myself, I was already full of fear before I went in. In order to function with the fear, I wrapped it up and stuffed it down and avoided looking at or dealing with it. During the Landmark Forum we, as a group felt all the fear we were already full of. On the other side of that is an amazing place that is available to all of us anytime if we only knew it.

Oops, I’m trying hard not to make my experience sound mystical. There was nothing mystical about any of it. I’ll have to pick up on this some other time. There is sleep to be grabbed and pancakes to be flipped all too soon. If you have questions or comments, feel free to post. Goodnight!